Reading

This past week has been filled with lots of reading! I am a reader by nature, I love it actually! Something about being that "wordy" person that I am and combining that with the research personality I have makes me delight in books! I also seem to have a few books going at a time, this week I accomplished finishing two of them and starting on a third.

For team leader training prep at Avant they sent us two books to read and they are "The Truth about Leadership" by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner and "Commisssioned" by Marvin J. Newell. Each book challenged me and helped grow me in areas that are very real to the walk we are on right now. I am looking forward to discussing them in a group setting and hearing the leaders at Avant talk about them as well.

The third book I started was Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and wow.. talk about impacting and honest! I have heard people talking about it for awhile and hadn't gotten around to reading it, and I had gone over to one of our neighbors the other day and saw she had a copy. I asked her about what she thought and she said if I'd like to read it I could borrow it, and I am so glad I did! I can't wait to finish it and have Michael read it too.. I can see why they use this book in small groups, cuz you wanna talk about it and pick someones brain about it too..

Enjoying the preparations of ministry and missions! I feel very blessed and thankful that I get to be a stay at home mom and have the time to fellowship with friends during the day and read and prepare in the way that I can. What an awesome gift my husband is giving me... anyone free for coffee next week? :)

Time

This word is used over and over in my vocabulary every day! I wonder what time it is, how much time I have to get something done, do I have time to do it, it's time to leave, it's time to go, time, time, time...

Measuring my day based on a certain schedule is necessary, the kids need to be at school at a certain time, I need to pick them up at a certain time, etc. I some days desire that time would stand still and on other days I wish it would fly! Knowing that I don't control it.. I still desire to somehow manage it..

Manage it I do, well if you ask me... I hate being late... I am usually 5 min early (at least)... :) I am also known for saving seats for people... since I arrive early, I tend to be able to hold seats for those who are late...

So why am I rambling about time? Well, what provoked this thought process was I had looked back today on my testimony I had shared at COP in July. In it I spoke about the Beth Moore study I had done on Esther. God had used that study to prepare my heart more for the path we are on now as missionaries... the scripture I used was Esther 4:14b ...And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” For such a time as this! Those words spoke to me in such a deep and personal way... it made me question what time is this for me? What is God using this time in my life for? Time... I want to use the time I have now in deputation to glorify God, to use my time to fulfill the calling, to learn more about His Word! I am taking steps to do just that, I am looking into taking some classes at LBC (Lincoln Berean Church) at their Christian Leadership College, and dig deeper! Delighting myself in learning! So, pray for me as I take steps to do just that!

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”
Henry Van Dyke

FellowMissionship

Yeah, that should be a word! Today we had the opportunity to hear from a LBC joint venture missionary who is stationed in Poland, his name is Calvin Carr. He was back on furlough and visiting his supporters and family and updating people on what's been happening the last year in Gdansk, Poland. It was just so cool to hear his stories of coping, surviving, and success! His thoughts about the language barrier and how much God is growing and stretching him; I just tried to drink in all his insight. He was excited about the things that were happening among the Polish people in the city they are in and he shared how they've created fellowship and unique ways to bring people together. I loved seeing his passion for people and his honest feelings about what really takes place that first year...

Seeing the vision of missions through a missionaries eyes who has experienced it was uplifting today! I feel energized and excited about how many people are out there right now spreading the Gospel! How that desire in me to be on the field pushes us toward our goals of fundraising to get there! It was a great morning!

Looking forward to going down to Avant and seeing a dear friend be commissioned this next weekend! Seeing a new crop of missionaries entering into deputation and realizing that every day is one step closer to the field!

Laying it Down..

You know that feeling of deja vu? Well, sometimes my prayer life can feel a bit like that. I know I've said this like a thousand times Lord.. but here I go saying it again.. it's not that God didn't hear me the first thousand times, it's just that I tend to lay it down momentarily and then pick it back up again.I am learning that laying it down is easy for that moment, it's just the walking away from it that's hard.

My daughter is an internal processor, she thinks things through pretty much all the way before she tells you what she was thinking about. She likes to be prepared, likes to know where her thoughts are heading before she clues you in. I tend to do this process in reverse order... I let you know what I'm thinking and then process it while I'm talking. It's funny to see how differently we take things in and rearrange the way we let them out. I am often times taken aback by her wisdom, when she lets you in to what's brewing in her head, she brings insight and discernment to things well beyond her eleven years of age. Seeing the gifts God has sewn into who she is and recognizing the young woman she is in Christ is so fun! I had the opportunity just to talk with her a bit tonight because she was having trouble getting to sleep and I went in and snuggled with her for a bit and picked her brain... thankful for the quiet moment of hearing what was on her mind.

It brought me to this place of laying it down.. knowing that all our thoughts and insights are never going to be enough.. it takes laying it down at Jesus' feet. Letting it go.. and walking away..

My life is filled with lots of situations that are beyond me, beyond my ability to fix, beyond my expertise, experience, and grasp.. but knowing that, causes me to have Hope! Knowing that all glory is His alone..

2 Corinthians 4:7-9
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Encouraged

I just thought that I should write about how encouraged I feel tonight! I feel amazingly blessed by the friendship we have found here in Lincoln. It took us about a year or so to really connect with another couple that we didn't have to drive twenty minutes to see. Much love to our Crete friends and our Omaha friends! We love you all, but it's wonderful to have this friendship in our hometown too! Building this friendship has been so much fun! We've had fun playing video games, talking church, talking life, talking school and talking missions.. and I have even gone to see them with no make-up... which if you know me well, is a rare occasion! I tend to never leave the house without at least a little. :)

What I've found is that God brings about the most amazing connections in the simplest circumstances... going to a Christian school has given us this awesome community that has embraced us and they had this cool little set-up of connecting people based on their kids' age and having a host family that invites you over for dinner and gets to know you. And we had the incredible blessing of being paired up with the Ken and Teresa. We connected and it's been wonderful to get to know them!

It's allowed me to be very honest about life, I have felt that I don't need to pretend with them or say just the right thing all the time, they accept me for who I am where I am. What a refreshing thing! We had the opportunity to hang out with them tonight and I am looking forward to coffee with Teresa tomorrow.. I hope they don't get too sick of us... ;) ....

Shoulder to shoulder friendship was something I have been praying for and it's wonderful to experience it here in Lincoln... Our God is so faithful!

Snow Day!

Today is a day that lends itself perfectly to catching up on the list of to do's! I have been meaning to sit down and write my blog, but have somehow just not done it. No excuses today, I am doing it!

School was cancelled last night around 10:30pm and I couldn't have been more pleased! I absolutely love snow days! A day off with no guilt! It's about noon and I am sitting around lounging in pj pants and my oldest Nebraska Huskers sweatshirt, it's wonderful to have a Saturday morning feel to a Monday morning and I am taking full advantage of it! Okay, so now for the updates of what's been going on with our team.

We recently just had a couple withdraw from our team, it has taken me a good week or so to really process it and get through the emotions that have come because of it. I know that God knew all along that Eryn and Grayson wouldn't be going to Italy with us, but getting my emotions out of the way to see God's will is sometimes hard and it takes time for me to switch plans.. cuz we thought we had this all figured out.. lol... God is funny about showing us who is really in charge. :) So, now we are not only adding a new single but are in the process of looking for a couple and hopefully some kids to our team. As of this point it has not derailed out time frame of 2012, and to be honest I don't think it will. We are still about 17 mths or so out from deployment. We have seen God work wonders in our fundraising efforts within the last 6 months and believe that God can do that and more with the rest of our team! Encouraging others to push on towards the goal of our mission, which is not a mission of deputation forever, but a mission of church planting, that's what is most burning on my heart! We are called to missions! Knowing and feeling that urgency to reach the field and conveying that passion to the team that joins our journey is beyond exciting to me! I have such a heart for equipping others to join us, I feel compelled to cast the net and to obey when I feel Holy Spirit prompting me to ask the hard questions and challenge people to come along side us... which to be honest this has even surprised me, I didn't really see myself as a "recruiter" of missionaries, but wow, I am slowly seeing that happen... Praying that God will equip and lead! I don't know if every net that is being cast with produce team members, but I know that I am being faithful where God is calling me to be faithful. The rest is up to God! How exciting it is to see Him work!



2011 has been of year of trust and prayer already, learning to really lay down my own plans and expectations is hard! I am a planner and as a teammate just asked me last night, "are you leaving room for God's will?" I have pondered and prayed about that... God's will does prevail, regardless of my own expectations or ideas... the question prompted me to Jonah, remember the fish that swallowed Jonah? When the men on the boat were about to throw Jonah in the sea, after he had confessed the storm was because of him, the men say to Jonah in Jonah 1:13b ...for you, LORD, have done as you pleased. How true that is, that God will do as He pleases, I just need to be faithful in the call he has placed upon us, and that call is missions... going where the Lord sees fit, knowing that as long as I am faithful, God will do as he pleases, but I need to go... the responsibility of getting there and raising up others to send us is ours to do.. God will lead.. he can't steer a ship that's not moving.. that's where we are now.. in the process of moving... I just hope that it doesn't take a fish swallowing me if I get off track! Having teammates and friends to ask the hard questions and process this journey with is priceless, I couldn't do this without their support and encouragement! I love being able to hash out my emotions with people who are going through this same journey, I need to hear their stories and heart, because I need to share mine.

That's what this blog is allowing me to do, to share the struggles, tears, joys and triumphs! Thank you for navigating this messy process with me! Thank you for your prayers and keep praying! We are in the pruning process right now, pray that God will bring to us the right people for our team, pray that we will submit to whatever plans He has ahead! Also pray for Eryn and Grayson who God is leading in another direction right now, finishing up schooling and training here in the US before they hit the field. We know that God will do great things through them! We are so grateful that we know them!

We are planning a trip to KC in a few weeks, to see one of our dear friends complete training at Avant! We can't wait to connect with Meghan and Josh Baldwin (team members)! We are also heading down to do more training ourselves in February... it's for the Team Leader Training, we have been reading some great books and look forward to meeting other Team Leads! It's kicking off to be a busy 2011 all around! Exciting things are happening!

Took a bit of a break

December was filled with so many wonderful things! My parents came back from Texas for about a week and it was so wonderful seeing them! I celebrated my 33rd birthday this Christmas, it doesn't seem possible that I am nearly that old! My kiddos were out of school for two weeks and I enjoyed every last minute of having them home! The schedule was busy and filled with lots of wonderful get togethers and visiting with old and new friends and family! How quickly time gets away from us and the Christmas season ends... I still have yet to take down my Christmas trees or decorations, I figure that Epiphany is the 6th, so I still have time! I decided I didn't want to spend any of our break from school taking down things and putting them away, I have all week to do that!

2011 has arrived and I am so excited about what this year has to hold. I can now say I will be in Italy "next year"... how amazing is that?! This year will hold many special events and many holidays that will be our last in the states for 5 years or so... I am keeping in mind to be purposeful about the time I spend gathered with family and friends, knowing that it may be awhile before I do that again. I feel this pressing in from Holy Spirit about delighting myself in the Lord.. my scripture for this year is Psalm 35:9 Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD and delight in his salvation. May that be the reflection of my attitude this year, that I will rejoice and delight myself in Jesus! How often I look for delight in other things, but wow, to have my focus be in Him... how I long for that! I look forward to Him showing me how this scripture will affect me this year and how His glory will reign!

My heart is joyful and I am enjoying some much needed quiet time at home today. I had to take Caleb to basketball practice at 6am and then I stuck around and served the 7th and 8th grade b-ball players breakfast.. so I am feeling a bit sluggish... so my plan is to take it easy and enjoy my quiet house until I have to pick up the kids from school! :)