I am so glad it's Thursday! I had the best day that I feel as though I am bursting at the seams with thankfulness! Here's the highlights of my day:
~ Started the morning with some lovely English Muffins that my sweet friend Amy brought to me yesterday. Oh.my.goodness. Will have to make some of my own soon. Click on the link for recipe: http://amy-newnostalgia.blogspot.com/2013/01/amazingly-delicious-homemade-english.html
~ It's date day with my wonderful husband and he took me to lunch & movie this afternoon! Love the theater and we had Samurai Sam's for lunch!
~ He then took me to one of my favorite thrift stores here in Lincoln and we found this awesome Ethan Allen settee for a steal of a deal and he bought it for me for Valentine's Day!
~ Then I called a dear sweet friend and she is going to help me reupholster the settee! So, we've planned a girls day with our daughters this Saturday to pick out fabric! So excited to tackle this project with her!!
I am grateful for activity, houseful of friends at our table the last two nights, and just an amazing weekend ahead. It's been an exceptional Thursday! Thankful indeed!!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Questions & Doubts & Release
It's been a week of questions, questioning why the wait for a placement, will we ever get one... waiting for the phone to ring, wondering if it will... jumping every time it does..hoping that it'll be a placement call... but yet, we wait.... we've had calls, but mainly for teens and respite.. which really isn't what we are looking at this phase of life, we have three teens living in our house right now and that's enough I think...
Doubt creeps in as the waiting continues, we start asking ourselves all sorts of questions... we ask why the wait... is this not something God wants for us? Did we make the wrong decision.. and I think I am highly sensitive about that now... I feel like we've made decisions that we thought were the right ones and even though it was a "good" decision.. our path just looked so different from what I thought it would look like... I am afraid at times when things seem to be "on hold" that we've taken a wrong turn.. BUT then I remember that it's not supposed to look a certain way... my expectations need to be dropped away and I need to let God do what He needs to do and apparently that means me waiting. So, I wait. And I choose to Praise Him anyway, even though my plans were to see a baby here day 1 and to have a calls when that baby goes back to mom and dad or we have a forever baby immediately.. it's hard to lay my desires down and experience what God is doing when I feel that it's nothing.... because we have a very empty baby room... hard to walk past it everyday.. as my heart longs for a full room.... we look back at our eleven year journey with infertility and realize that there is a bigger plan, a greater purpose, but how I long for littles.. that never goes away... so I pray and seek His face.. I remember that God loves me with an extravagant love and I rejoice... because whatever this road may look like.. it's a blessed road and I choose to have a grateful heart..
I feel my attitude change as my perspective is set on the eternal one... it's worth it, God can handle my doubts and questions and He loves me anyway.. I want Him to be glorified as we walk this path and I need to get outta the way and let go... letting go even of my own desire and releasing it.. releasing my desire for littles and believing that God is enough.. may he use the desire in a way that pleases Him and may I be faithful to lay it down and give it to Him... so here it is Lord... it's Yours... it's all Yours!
Doubt creeps in as the waiting continues, we start asking ourselves all sorts of questions... we ask why the wait... is this not something God wants for us? Did we make the wrong decision.. and I think I am highly sensitive about that now... I feel like we've made decisions that we thought were the right ones and even though it was a "good" decision.. our path just looked so different from what I thought it would look like... I am afraid at times when things seem to be "on hold" that we've taken a wrong turn.. BUT then I remember that it's not supposed to look a certain way... my expectations need to be dropped away and I need to let God do what He needs to do and apparently that means me waiting. So, I wait. And I choose to Praise Him anyway, even though my plans were to see a baby here day 1 and to have a calls when that baby goes back to mom and dad or we have a forever baby immediately.. it's hard to lay my desires down and experience what God is doing when I feel that it's nothing.... because we have a very empty baby room... hard to walk past it everyday.. as my heart longs for a full room.... we look back at our eleven year journey with infertility and realize that there is a bigger plan, a greater purpose, but how I long for littles.. that never goes away... so I pray and seek His face.. I remember that God loves me with an extravagant love and I rejoice... because whatever this road may look like.. it's a blessed road and I choose to have a grateful heart..
I feel my attitude change as my perspective is set on the eternal one... it's worth it, God can handle my doubts and questions and He loves me anyway.. I want Him to be glorified as we walk this path and I need to get outta the way and let go... letting go even of my own desire and releasing it.. releasing my desire for littles and believing that God is enough.. may he use the desire in a way that pleases Him and may I be faithful to lay it down and give it to Him... so here it is Lord... it's Yours... it's all Yours!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Goodbyes
As I look back at this week and know that it was only four days ago that our house was a buzz with kids running about and babies cooing, I can't believe how quickly that changes. On Monday night we said goodbye to our three little blessings and placed them in the hands of family members. Although we said goodbye to Baby A (our first placement), we hadn't experienced the hard reality of little ones who could say goodbye to us. Baby A was 6 wks old and two of the little guys we had this time were well aware that this was a goodbye...
Michael and I found it incredibly difficult packing up their things and carrying it all to the car, it feels so final as you pack things up... We drove to the building that they have supervised visitations and then we went into the room where they had earlier visited with their mom and saw our cute little guys sitting on the couch waiting for us, a caseworker was holding the baby who was eager to be snuggled... we tried very hard not to cry, but even as I type this my eyes are pooling with tears.. I can still picture their sweet faces and us telling them that they would be going with family, they talked about seeing mom and we said we were glad that they had gotten to see her, we said that they wouldn't be staying with us and that we needed to say goodbye and we hugged them and I cried... the 3 year old noticed and he wanted to make me feel better I think, so he showed me his most awesome somersault, he knew it was my favorite..because I had told him how good he was at them earlier... I will hold that moment in my heart always..he wanted to cheer me up.. Snuggling the baby and kissing him was hard... these little ones had been so sick when they had arrived with us, it had been quite a week of comforting and bonding.. the baby and I spent a lot of hours together during the night hours rocking him to sleep and I had the hardest time giving him back to the social worker.. Health and Human Services cried with us, they were so sweet and they thanked us over and over for taking such good care of the boys.. we know that we did all we could, we got them to the Doctors, they were healthier and cleaner, they had had a safe week with us... we loved them... they will always be a part of our hearts.. goodbyes are hard, but in the foster care system they are a part of the journey, it's hard, but it's so worth it. We now have lots of young men to continue to pray for, to lift before a God who is in control and who loves them more than we do... grateful I can lay my fears and tears at the feet of such a gracious God...
In dealing with lots of sickness with the boys Michael and I are not feeling our best. We've been battling colds and fevers this week. We wiped a lot of runny noses and got coughed on a lot.. we are healing both physically and emotionally.. we are feeling more equipped and ready to take on another case... the sad thing about the foster system is that calls continue to come, there are so many children in need of a safe haven in our city... our journey continues and may we love with reckless abandon knowing that we aren't guaranteed a time frame, it may be for a day or it may be for a lifetime, regardless may we love the same.
Michael and I found it incredibly difficult packing up their things and carrying it all to the car, it feels so final as you pack things up... We drove to the building that they have supervised visitations and then we went into the room where they had earlier visited with their mom and saw our cute little guys sitting on the couch waiting for us, a caseworker was holding the baby who was eager to be snuggled... we tried very hard not to cry, but even as I type this my eyes are pooling with tears.. I can still picture their sweet faces and us telling them that they would be going with family, they talked about seeing mom and we said we were glad that they had gotten to see her, we said that they wouldn't be staying with us and that we needed to say goodbye and we hugged them and I cried... the 3 year old noticed and he wanted to make me feel better I think, so he showed me his most awesome somersault, he knew it was my favorite..because I had told him how good he was at them earlier... I will hold that moment in my heart always..he wanted to cheer me up.. Snuggling the baby and kissing him was hard... these little ones had been so sick when they had arrived with us, it had been quite a week of comforting and bonding.. the baby and I spent a lot of hours together during the night hours rocking him to sleep and I had the hardest time giving him back to the social worker.. Health and Human Services cried with us, they were so sweet and they thanked us over and over for taking such good care of the boys.. we know that we did all we could, we got them to the Doctors, they were healthier and cleaner, they had had a safe week with us... we loved them... they will always be a part of our hearts.. goodbyes are hard, but in the foster care system they are a part of the journey, it's hard, but it's so worth it. We now have lots of young men to continue to pray for, to lift before a God who is in control and who loves them more than we do... grateful I can lay my fears and tears at the feet of such a gracious God...
In dealing with lots of sickness with the boys Michael and I are not feeling our best. We've been battling colds and fevers this week. We wiped a lot of runny noses and got coughed on a lot.. we are healing both physically and emotionally.. we are feeling more equipped and ready to take on another case... the sad thing about the foster system is that calls continue to come, there are so many children in need of a safe haven in our city... our journey continues and may we love with reckless abandon knowing that we aren't guaranteed a time frame, it may be for a day or it may be for a lifetime, regardless may we love the same.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Three.
This week we took three boys ages 3, 18 months and 5 months. I think looking at their ages you can imagine the juggling that needs to take place to meet their needs.. it makes for a very busy day and night. The first day we had them we noticed the coughs and were informed that our littlest guy had been taken to the ER before he was placed and being treated with a nebulizer.. after a very sleepless night we made Dr. appointments for the oldest two boys and found out we were dealing with untreated asthma and bronchitis, double ear infections, etc... so with a kick of steroids and antibiotics we've seen such better days and nights with them. Praising God for that! I did however end up taking the baby to the ER at about midnight last night and they treated him for croup and gave him a steroid shot, his breathing is finally taking a turn for the better and he is sleeping much more soundly and is able to eat easier. It's been a roller coaster, but we've seen such little triumphs and moments of absolute joy with them. My heart is growing so attached and I feel like our new "normal" is arriving...
We found out that a family member will most likely take them possibly Monday... I am sad and glad all at the same time.. it's good that they are going to be with family if it's a good fit, but it's so hard to prepare to see them go... It's not a for sure thing yet, but it's leaning in that direction.. praying for my heart and theirs as they will be bobbled into another home and have to relearn routine all over again... they've really blossomed under our love and encouragement and I am thankful for the time we've had.
We found out that a family member will most likely take them possibly Monday... I am sad and glad all at the same time.. it's good that they are going to be with family if it's a good fit, but it's so hard to prepare to see them go... It's not a for sure thing yet, but it's leaning in that direction.. praying for my heart and theirs as they will be bobbled into another home and have to relearn routine all over again... they've really blossomed under our love and encouragement and I am thankful for the time we've had.
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