Goodbyes

As I look back at this week and know that it was only four days ago that our house was a buzz with kids running about and babies cooing, I can't believe how quickly that changes. On Monday night we said goodbye to our three little blessings and placed them in the hands of family members. Although we said goodbye to Baby A (our first placement), we hadn't experienced the hard reality of little ones who could say goodbye to us. Baby A was 6 wks old and two of the little guys we had this time were well aware that this was a goodbye...

Michael and I found it incredibly difficult packing up their things and carrying it all to the car, it feels so final as you pack things up... We drove to the building that they have supervised visitations and then we went into the room where they had earlier visited with their mom and saw our cute little guys sitting on the couch waiting for us, a caseworker was holding the baby who was eager to be snuggled... we tried very hard not to cry, but even as I type this my eyes are pooling with tears.. I can still picture their sweet faces and us telling them that they would be going with family, they talked about seeing mom and we said we were glad that they had gotten to see her, we said that they wouldn't be staying with us and that we needed to say goodbye and we hugged them and I cried... the 3 year old noticed and he wanted to make me feel better I think, so he showed me his most awesome somersault, he knew it was my favorite..because I had told him how good he was at them earlier... I will hold that moment in my heart always..he wanted to cheer me up.. Snuggling the baby and kissing him was hard... these little ones had been so sick when they had arrived with us, it had been quite a week of comforting and bonding.. the baby and I spent a lot of hours together during the night hours rocking him to sleep and I had the hardest time giving him back to the social worker.. Health and Human Services cried with us, they were so sweet and they thanked us over and over for taking such good care of the boys.. we know that we did all we could, we got them to the Doctors, they were healthier and cleaner, they had had a safe week with us... we loved them... they will always be a part of our hearts.. goodbyes are hard, but in the foster care system they are a part of the journey, it's hard, but it's so worth it. We now have lots of young men to continue to pray for, to lift before a God who is in control and who loves them more than we do... grateful I can lay my fears and tears at the feet of such a gracious God...

In dealing with lots of sickness with the boys Michael and I are not feeling our best. We've been battling colds and fevers this week. We wiped a lot of runny noses and got coughed on a lot.. we are healing both physically and emotionally.. we are feeling more equipped and ready to take on another case... the sad thing about the foster system is that calls continue to come, there are so many children in need of a safe haven in our city... our journey continues and may we love with reckless abandon knowing that we aren't guaranteed a time frame, it may be for a day or it may be for a lifetime, regardless may we love the same.