Self Cleaning Oven

Info found on TLC website... self-cleaning ovens use an approximately 900 degrees Fahrenheit (482 degrees Celsius) temperature cycle to burn off spills leftover from baking, without the use of any chemicals. A self-cleaning oven is designed with a mechanical interlock (patented in 1982) to keep the oven door locked and closed during and soon after the high-temperature cleaning cycle, which can be approximately three hours. The door stays locked to prevent burn injuries. You can open the oven door after the oven cools to approximately 600 F (315 C).

Weird title I know, but while the smell of my self cleaning oven fills my apartment I am reminded of God's refining fire. I wish I came with a warning that while God is cleaning me up, don't open the door... this would help because I know that while I am being refined, it's not always easy for those around me.. they may get burned in the process, because I resist the work the Lord needs to do and react in a way that is so not loving.. I should most definitely come with a WARNING some days!!

Isaiah 48:10 (New International Version)

10 See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

I feel like right now. I am in that furnace being refined, there are so many areas of my life where I am stubborn and won't let go. Michael and I have wanted to add more children to our family for the past nine years of so now, we have prayed, been prayed for, done fertility, seen the best of the best fertility Dr., and still have been unsuccessful in our attempts. I have this burden on my heart and this immense desire to have more children, I have prayed that if it's not God's desire, that He would take it away from me, yet the desire remains... that desire is something that I have laid before the throne so many times... I know that God hears me, I know that He loves me, I know that I know that He has a plan for this desire.... it just might not look the way I think it should... In the past few days I have cried about it, wrestled with my own self pity and realized that although at times I feel angry at God about it, He is so gracious and good... this fact about Him never changes no matter how I am feeling... He is refining me, showing me that my heart for children is not lost.. I have been graced with two wonderful kids, I also have the privelege of having a group of girls that I minister to through our youth group ministry...the doors to have more children are not shut forever, there are options that we are exploring and praying through...my hope is not lost...I am just being refined, I have gone through things that I know will come into play in the ministry we do in Italy and even here as we prepare to go... I have been able to sit down face to face with women already and share my experience with infertility and encourage them as they go through some of the same questions I faced... God uses our brokeness and refines us so that we may reflect His Ever-Loving face... May I continue to let him work in me and do so without needing the WARNING sign!