Heart of Worship?

I am struggling with this "heart of worship" right now. As I wrote the title of this blog the reality of what it should look like and what my heart actually looks like..well, it's not really reflecting that sentiment. I want to worship, I desire to worship... but I am a bit afraid of all the tears that will come when I take off the mask and really worship. It's not that I'm sad.. I'm not, I'm just in a place where my heart is soft..softer then it's been in good while. God is working on me, He's bringing me to places that are growing me, chiseling me, and really showing me just how much I need to let go of... It's not a process that's all that fun! Trusting that everything will be better is hard...when I feel like I am not sure how much more I can let go of... I like holding on to "my ways" and "my plans" it's hard when I feel like letting go is just too hard & too painful. Also, this whole waiting thing... ugh, it's like the worst thing in the world! I HATE waiting... so, yeah... guess who's having to wait for lots and lots of things right now? Apparently that's another thing I gotta let go of and work on... some days it feels like I am whittled down from a Sequoya tree to a toothpick and I am wondering how much more needs to be refined??... but that's a dangerous question!