Ticket please.

I feel like I have purchased a ticket for a roller coaster... I've sat down and the ride has been this steep hill that we've finally crested..the plunge has ended... and the ups and downs of the subsequent hills have begun. We had our first part time placement and it ended yesterday, I received a phone call before noon today and I was so excited. It was another little one and we gladly accepted the placement. Now, after doing some shopping for him, we received another phone call at 4pm that they found a family member to take him instead... although that's great for the family, my heart is so heavy... I feel like my mind and heart ran through many months ahead thinking about what was to come and what our lives would look like... I'm having a hard time believing that he won't be here tonight... I was ready... the roller coaster is in full swing and I'm holding on to the hope that our time will come....