Time for giving thanks!

Understanding the places in your life where thanks needs to be given and where God has blessed us is often times overlooked... I have found that the things we want to change or the things that have not gone the way we wanted are far easier to recognize... I think it's because we become so self focused that we don't recognize the joy and blessing in every day life! Each day is a gift, regardless of how we feel, God never changes.. He is constantly loving, giving, gracious, and so deserving of our praise well beyond how we feel.. Glory needs to be given for each moment he gives us.. beyond the pain, fear, disappointment, or whatever we are going through.. our praises need to lifted to our Lord! Thankfulness is a decision... God sometimes puts us through things and we don't understand why, but in order for us to get the reason we have to go through the pain, sorrow, or anger to reveal God's greater plan. He is constantly molding us.. and that often times requires us to go through things that are difficult and tiresome.. but God's grace is enough! I have been reading Job and I tell you what, I want to reflect the faith that Job had! I want to praise God's name regardless of my situation! To never doubt that God loves me, to never blame God for my pain, but to rejoice always knowing that God is above all circumstances!! I have experienced some disappointments this week.... but I have rejoiced in the Lord, sang out praises to Him until I lost my voice, because He is worthy! I am thankful for the circumstances that have brought me to my knees and humbled me this week! I am thankful for my prayer time and my desire to read my Bible, I am thankful for digging in deeper and seeking God when my heart was heavy with questions~ God is Good!!
Isaiah 55:8
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Losing my voice

How awesome is it to lose your voice because you were all out worshipping God? Yeah, that's what I did tonight while we had prayer and praise at Oasis. The band Ambience from Lincoln came to lead our group in worshipping God.. it was so amazing!! Isn't it encouraging to praise the One True Living God with fellow believers! How I needed to be with God tonight... I needed to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ, standing shoulder to shoulder, lifting our voice to the God who is so deserving of our praise! Singing it out until you lose your voice... nothing better!!

Decisions

Life is all about decisions. Deciding what to eat, wear, go, work, ect. The last two mornings due to my son's decision to play basketball, I have had to wake up at like 5:15am. Now, I would not say that I have enjoyed this early routine, but I have enjoyed the prayer time that has come out of it. The house is very quiet up until about 6:40, when alarm clocks start going off for the usual days routine.. so that good hour I have before I take Faith to school has been spent in prayer. Now, I could have decided to go back to bed or wasted time watching TV, but I decided to pray. What I have found is that this decision that last two mornings has been such a huge blessing! The spirit has been working on me and I have felt convicted to pull away from the things that distract me... so I decided to give up facebook for a week. This is not an easy decision for me, I love catching up with people on facebook, looking at what's going on with everyone, finding old and new friends, playing the time wasting games, it's a social outlet for me. However, I felt God pressing me about letting it go for a week... So I am. There are some people in my life right now that have been heavy on my heart and this next week I will have more time to focus on lifting them up in prayer. I pray for my family and friends daily, but I think that not having all the distraction of the computer will help me to remember to pray more often. Who knows maybe I will decide to give up facebook all together after this week..... nah! :)

My heart sings for my Deliverer

Inspired by the reckless abandon that cries out in my heart today... I am praising God for the ways that he stirs the desire in me to be free... He has given me freedom! I am celebrating and rejoicing...

Impact

Reading through my team members blogs and seeing where their hearts have been long before we knew that we would be on the journey with them has blessed my heart tonight. I have been on this journey of missionary for such a short time that it amazes me sometimes just how much it has already impacted my thought process. I grew up in church, had parents who taught me about who God was, I accepted Christ as Savior at around the age of 6 or so, I can't really think of a time when I didn't know God. I however, ran from Him and walked my own path... I am so thankful that He never left me. So here I am, walking with Him to Italy. Who'd have thought? I wonder what my high school Renee would have said if she knew that this was going to be the future. Don't you often wonder if you could sit down with your younger self and let them know that all the decisions that at the time you thought were so monumental were so not! I thought I had my whole life figured out, but boy was I wrong. Here I am thirty two years old, mother of two, married for almost fourteen years, and a missionary. Never would I have seen this life when I was sixteen. However, I wouldn't change a thing about where I am now. I have had my share of struggles and doubts, fears and failures, successes and losses, but through it all God had a plan. He knew where I was heading even though I had no clue and most days I will be honest I take one step at a time and even that one step is filled with blind faith. The steps are leading me one step closer to Italy and I can't wait! I feel like I'm in good company though.. can you imagine being a fishermen, getting up doing your normal morning routine, getting your boat ready, checking nets, heading out to fish and a man calls from shore and says, "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." (Matthew 4:19) It gives me great hope that God is willing to call who he sees fit, far from who we would think would be "qualified"... My heart is joyful for I know that following Jesus wherever He takes me will be the best journey of my life!

Friday Night LIfe

Finding myself alone on this late Friday night, it has left me the opportunity to just ponder lots of things about life in Italy.. I would say that I am a very visual learner.. and having not seen the place that we will be in about twenty months I have let my mind run free with imagined surroundings.. google images helps too :) So here's some pictures of my imaginings...

Servanthood...

God is stirring my heart today about servanthood.. what it looks like... I don't really have the words to reflect on everything that He's been teaching me but I just wanted to share that this is what I most desire to show others that I am not concerned with my own needs above theirs, that God is about them.. that it's not all about me... may I be willing to pour out myself for the glory of God, that I would consider myself less... what if everyone did this? what if? This missionary journey has showed me some amazing things about myself, about what God is doing, about how little life is really about my own little world and how much it's about His heart and passion for the lost, for the broken... for those that think that they are neither... Seeing now that this is the heart I need to have more often, that I need to be willing to not be concerned with my own selfish desires.. reprioritizing my life.. it's a messy process, let me tell you.. but wow, what God is showing me through it... how I am seeking Him more is well worth the mess!

Love this Mother Teresa Quote: "I belong to Jesus. He must have the right to use me without consulting me."

Thankful Thursday!!

You are God's Good Idea... I am God's Good Idea...

Ephesians 1: 3,4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love

You were created in the mind of God before you were conceived in a womb. You were God's idea. And God is the One who made you for a specific time and place on this earth. You aren't an accident, a mistake, an error, an incident, or a mishap.
He is the One who brought you to an understanding of Jesus Christ as your Savior and raised you up so that you could fulfill His purposes and reflect His glory in spite of every effort of the enemy to destroy you, diminish you, defame you, or discourage you.
The fact is, if you hadn't gone through everything you have gone through, you wouldn't be the person you are today. And God knows that! He has been in the process of creating you, fashioning you, molding you, designing you, refining you, and perfecting you since the moment before the foundations of the earth when He first thought of you!
He gave you your own personality, your own abilities, your own spiritual gifts, and your own identity in Christ so that you, and you alone, might praise Him the way you praise, give what you give, minister like you minister, and love as you love.

He chose us before the foundation of the world... He knew I would be before He created everything... He thought of me on the cross while he suffered and died... and He thought I was worth it! God not only thought of me, but he thought of everyone.. His love and grace covers each and every person... Wow, I am shaken to the core that He would consider someone as messed up, selfish, and unworthy as I to pour out His love upon.. my thanks to Him should be seen in every choice I make, thought I think, and action I make... but it's not.. but God also knew that and He died anyway for me... Jesus' death on the cross was not a stipulation, He didn't die because He knew I would get it all right, He died because I wouldn't and He knew I needed Him! I am so thankful for the fact that I don't have it all figured out, but I know the One who does! I don't have to rely on myself... Praise God for that!

May I listen more closely today to what God is saying.. may I rely less on myself and more on Jesus... Help me to be your hands and feet and your eyes and ears today Jesus.. Help me to remember that I was created for a purpose, but more importantly may I see those around me, wether at the gas station, store, driving.. where ever I go.. as people who are yours, may I show kindness, compassion, grace, and patience... I want to reflect you today... use me to minister your love and love as you love....

Living Life...

So tonight was filled with laughter and I have to say I have really missed my high school girls! Being a small group leader with a bunch of Juniors and Seniors is like the best thing ever! I love their honesty, perspective, joy, & enthusiasm for life! They make me think about scripture differently and challenge me in ways far beyond my capabilities sometimes it seems.. they make me dig in to the Word and open my eyes to how wide and deep God's love is for us... I love their love for God and each other.. they bless my heart by trusting me and letting me into their lives one Wednesday at a time... how I cherish the moments and will hold onto nights like these that remind me how much I have to learn and how greatly God gives to those who ask for His wisdom... we have a very gracious and loving Father.. how thankful I am for that! God is so Good!

Sitting around a table discussing the Fruits of the Spirit and learning how God is impacting and changing their lives and how He is changing mine through His Word is so awesome! I am living in the moment with these young ladies and feel so privileged to do so! But I still can't help but think ahead to life in Italy... I imagine nights much like the one I had tonight, sitting around with people, talking life and allowing questions and discussions and checking Scripture together.. what could be better.. no matter what language your speaking... how I look forward to nights like this in Italy! But for now, I rejoice in nights like this in Crete, NE...

My world...

I think I need to be reminded every now and then (okay like ALL THE TIME!) that there's a bigger picture.... Chasing after you God... chasing after your heart.. chasing after your will.... ugh, how often I chase after mine...

So, you need to know that this week has been a bit rough for me emotionally... I've been struggling with feeling sad about not being pregnant... yeah, I really want more children, I would love to have at least two more... but if you've read other blogs then you know that with my PCOS it's quite a process to get pregnant... and although there are times that I am okay with it, there are times when I am overwhelmed with sadness about it.. That would describe this week for me.. sad... I haven't really talked about it much outside of talking to Michael about it.. he is used to hearing me process this.. he's a patient man... Facebook does not always help with these sad feelings.. it seems like everyone I know is either pregnant or just had a baby.. really! Like everyone! So, that's when I need to remember that God has a bigger picture.. He never stops loving me.. He's here when all I do is cry and don't have words to utter... he knows my unspoken words and my spoken, He can handle my anger and questions and He really is my All in All... So, I am breaking out of my own little world and looking forward to enjoying a weekend away with good friends and family.. how I look forward to celebrating a time of togetherness... how I need to laugh and enjoy myself... breaking out of my own little world of pity..

Thankful Thursday..

Here's 10 reasons I am thankful for my husband...

1. He knows my heart... we were married when we were eighteen and nineteen years old, we've grown up together in many ways and he just gets me... he knows all he needs to do is listen, that I don't need him to "fix" the situation, I just want him to be there.
2. He cooks! He cooks for all family gatherings we host, he cooks for company, he cooks just because! Isn't that wonderful.. he loves cooking and we love eating whatever he makes! :)
3. He loves God... (I know this probably should have been number one, but these are in no particular order) He is a man who lived a hard life growing up.. he could have been a man who was far from God, but he chose to follow God.... I am so thankful for his passion for those who are lost and hurting.. his understanding of that life breaks my heart, but Wow, the ways its brought Glory to God is wonderful to see... You should hear his testimony! :)
4. He is a good Father... he takes time to talk to our children and involves himself in their life and activities.. he prays for them, teaches them how to cook, teaches them about God, works hard so that they are able to have their needs met and their wants taken care of too... He plays board games, gives piggy back rides, takes them to concerts that they are dying to see, I could go on and on...
5. He is a night owl... which leads me to stay up way past my needed bed time most nights.. our kids need to be up no later than 6:30 every morning to get ready for school... which leads me to #6

6. He lets me sleep in sometimes... due to him being a night owl and I tend to require more sleep.. which will lead him to whisper to me in the morning when the alarm goes off, "I have to be to work early, stay in bed, I'll get the kids to school." Love him!! Which is what he did this morning. :)

7. He doesn't wear matching socks.. as a kid he was like in the 7th grade (I think) and he didn't have matching socks clean and it was the time when tube socks with the stripe on top were "in", so he had two different tube socks, so he rolled the tube socks so that you couldn't see the stripe, but as the day went on the socks came unrolled and he was made fun of by the "cool kids" and he was of course hurt, but decided from that day on that he would wear non-matching socks intentionally.. and so he has... he never matches his socks, which makes him quirky and I love that.. which makes doing laundry for me easy when it comes to matching his socks.. I don't have to ;)

8. He goes to the store just to buy ice cream.. When our kids were babies and toddlers.. sometimes after the end of a very long day and the kids were finally in bed, I would ask Michael to go and get ice cream or candy at the store and he would.. this began the late night tradition of candy dates.. where we would be sitting around watching TV and he would be like, "want some candy?" to which I would say "yeah!" and he would run to the convenient store and get some.. we still do this sometimes even now... it's funny... but I love that about him.
9. He loves clothes shopping for me or him.. He is a natural shopper, he loves looking at what's new and he also loves picking out clothes for me... he is a wonderful shopping buddy.. he picks stuff out while I am trying stuff on in the dressing room to add to whatever I am already trying on.. he is honest about what he thinks looks good or not.. he knows my sizes in everything and he is never afraid to buy something when I am not there.. isn't that fun?!

10. He tells me he loves me everyday.. at least one hundred times... He is a man who never forgets that I love for him to say those words.. he is thoughtful and patient and lets me know that he loves me for me... I am so blessed..

I will find myself...

Someday; Some Days

The meaning of these words
Someday- an indefinite time in the future
Some Days... speaking of the current day usually stated at the end of it ...

There are days when I am filled with pondering the why and how of every mood.. how can you be filled with great excitement and great sorrow at the same time? Isn't it weird when that happens.. This is when I run to the hiding place to be with God.. Another way of expressing how I have found safety in a God who knows both joy and sorrow blended together ... how this reminds me of the Cross! So, it's one of those days where sorrow and joy meet.. here's the song that speaks to my heart and says the words I
feel! Praising God for someday and this day!!

Thankful Thursday!!

Today is a new day! Sometimes I feel like when I post the Thankful Thursday blog I need to be reminded that it's a new day, not merely just another Thankful Thursday, but a fresh new day! Sometimes I feel like I'm in a rut... I was telling you about how I was feeling about my hair and how I needed a new do to put some pep back in my step! It worked! I got a cute new haircut and color and I am loving it! I had a wonderful lunch with one of my bestest girlfriends Nikki on Tuesday after I got my hair done and I was telling her about how sometimes I feel like I do the same thing everyday and she said the greatest thing... "You need to make it different then!" It was like BAM.. she's right! I do need to make my days different! So I have been inspired to do so! So today is a fresh new Thankful Thursday... Here's some new things I am thankful for....

New Hair!


New Nail Polish Topcoat Luv it.. it my new fall favorite!!


New recipe.. I made Rice Pudding :)


Doing something different and choosing to find something new in your day is wonderful! I am praying that today I would thank God for the blessings of this new day, for the joy He puts in my heart and the friends who point me to the truth!! Psalm 96:1 Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth.