Yesterday I was dealing with the questions that bounce around inside my head like, what will my kids be doing on Friday nights in the fall in Italy? Will missing out on High School football games, homecoming dances, prom, ect... Will that be something that they will be mad at me about and think that they've missed something back here because of being on the mission field? Will they have friends there? Will Caleb and Faith be okay with this decision five years from now? Am I cheating them of a normal middle school & high school experience?..... and on and on.... doubt... worry.... fear... all the unknowns....
But then it dawns on me... do any of these events really matter in the grand scheme of life? Does that fact that Caleb and Faith will not have the "American High School Experience" determine happiness? I sure hope not!! Actually maybe it's a huge blessing that they won't have to have it! It's a matter of looking at what is really important and putting it into perspective ... and trusting that God cares more than I do... that He knows what's best, that I can trust Him to take care of my kids! He is always faithful and I can lay all my worries and fears down and He has it all under control! How awesome is that... that it's all in His perfect and trustworthy hands.... Trust .... Peace.... Goodness... Faithfulness...
I know that this is the path that God has set us on, not just Michael and I, but our kids too! It's going to be a life changing experience for all of us, as a friend said this morning... you take the good with the bad... but the bad isn't so bad when you know that in the end it's all about what Jesus does... it's not about me at all, my focus is shifting back to where it needs to be.. on Jesus... because I don't have all the answers, but I know the One who does! Praise God for that!
I will lift my eyes to the Maker and give Him my doubts and in return He gives me peace!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thankful Thursday!
Hebrews 12:28 (New International Version)
28Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,
There are so many things to be thankful for in my life today! I like what one of my friends Nicole did in her blog not too long ago, so I am going to borrow her idea and show you the simple things I am appreciating this beautiful day.... This journey of being a missionary has been really cool... it's shown me just a glimpse of how big God is! That His love surpasses anything I can possibly imagine... Life will change when we go overseas, and all the comforts of what I've known here in America will change... so today I am reflecting on the joys of my life here in America... Here's to simple joys and thanksgivings....
This is actually my coffee cups at home :) You see how big the cup is (normal to us right?) not in Italy.. they serve in very small shot like coffee cups.. Thankful for my big cup this morning!!
I love my high thread count sheets! Ahh so soft! :)
Thankful for cartoons... this is one that the whole family enjoys watching together... we liked it so much we bought the soundtrack :)
Without my alarm clock I would never be up at 6:30 am with my kids... cuz I love my sheets remember?! :) (I love the old school looking one... it's what I have :)
Doodling! I find such joy in it! This is pretty much what my notes look like in school or in a sermon... I think better when I doodle! :)
I am thankful for today and hope that I will remember to find joy in the little things...
Monday, August 23, 2010
Weekend Buzz
The weekend was filled with lots of wonderful opportunities for us to share our mission journey. We had the pleasure of visiting with our life group from Omaha on Friday, it was a night filled with food and fellowship. We sat down with friends who have seen our life during the good, bad, and ugly... they are people who know us and love us no matter what the circumstance and we are so grateful for them! Sharing our mission journey with friends is really quite fun, you get to share transparently and not worry so much about every word that may be spoken wrong or whatever due to the fact that friends give you the benefit of the doubt most times... such outpouring of support was given and we are blessed....it was an awesome Friday night!
Saturday rolled around and we slept in a bit, got the day going, did a bit of back to school shopping (much to our daughter's dismay) and then got to experience a good friend's baptism... it was awesome to be reminded of the healing power of Christ. Her life story is one that definietly speaks redemption and healing, so that was cool! Then we finished getting stuff for the youth room with my brother and sister-in-law... shopping and redecorating, so awesome!! The kids were pleased with the outcome of the room's decorations, all we have left is some painting and electronics... a funny thing happened while Natalie was moving the speakers in the room, she saw a GIANT spider (a wolf spider) and screamed I had no idea why she was screaming so I joined in... saw the spider and then screamed more... we scared Michael and Kirk.. but Kirk saved the spider and put it outside... it was funny!
Sunday came and Michael had the opportunity to preach at our church. He preached from Joshua 2, the story of Rahab... it went wonderfully.. he preached the message God placed on his heart. We then had a nice lunch with family and friends after and went home to change.. We had dinner plans at my brother's house in Springfield and talked about our mission to Italy some more and they are stepping along side us in this ministry and we are so excited about that... the kids had such a great time hanging with their cousins and we felt so encouraged!
Monday is here and I am still holding onto this weekend buzz... I feel encouraged in our support raising and encouraged in the way that people care, love and support this journey! These kinds of weekends remind me that God is faithful and that nothing is impossible, He will provide the way! So, as I sit here sipping on my coffee and reflecting I am thankful for His glory and I am laying down my fears, God is in control!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sing it out at the top of your lungs!
Natalie Grant
"Perfect People"
I sing this song at the top of my lungs every time its on! I feel so connected to these lyrics....
"There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God"
Amen, isn't that awesome!
"Perfect People"
I sing this song at the top of my lungs every time its on! I feel so connected to these lyrics....
"There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God"
Amen, isn't that awesome!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Pool Days
This morning I was thinking about all the summer held for us. This was our first summer in our apartment; adjusting to downsizing and enjoying the benefit of a pool! I have so many fond memories of the pool! The pool started out like a frat party environment; we ended up meeting what we call our "skittles" friends... these were the young men who had a very potty mouth, that when I asked to stop using the f-word.. they complied and started replacing it with skittles... this ended up sounding like this... I almost tripped over that skittles chair!... stop being such a skittles face! Needless to say it was always funny, but they were careful not to cuss around me and the kids. We ended up liking our skittles crew.
This summer was filled with hot days at a cool pool.... we enjoyed the quiet days when no one was there but us and the busy days where you couldn't find a chair, nights when Michael got to go with us, and all my days of reading good books while the kids swam. It was such a blessing to have the benefit of going to the pool for as long or short as we wanted and not thinking about having to pay to get in.... well, we are off to go swim some more! We still have a few more weeks of swimming to go!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Plans
Oh how I love to plan things out! I love to talk about plans, but I really love to see it written out in pen in my calendar. I had the wonderful opportunity to sit down with most of the leadership team for Oasis youth group tonight and we planned out the next five months! I love that! I look forward to the Wednesdays we have mapped out and know what lies ahead. I also like being given the responsibility to get it put down in a calendar format and send it off to the other leaders. I am a dork, I know! :)
So here's the thing, I know that plans are awesome, but I also know that things don't always go as planned. Sometimes the greatest things are not even considered an option but become the biggest blessing ever. As I look back at my life and realize that the path that has led me here did not go as I had planned; but I wouldn't change a thing! God in His Sovereign goodness has given me the most amazing son. I was eighteen years old when I got pregnant with Caleb, I was unmarried, scared to death, and completely sure that this was not "the plan". What I am most thankful for is God's redeeming love, His forgiveness and the fact that He got me through the fear and shame. I am not proud of every decision I made concerning my conduct but I am proud that God gave me Caleb. That God was good enough to show me His plan and His plan was so much better than mine!
Nothing we do is ever without God knowing, every plan we make is of great concern and interest to our Heavenly Father. Isn't it awesome to know that wether we are placing a coffee date on the calendar or wedding date, God cares!
So here's the thing, I know that plans are awesome, but I also know that things don't always go as planned. Sometimes the greatest things are not even considered an option but become the biggest blessing ever. As I look back at my life and realize that the path that has led me here did not go as I had planned; but I wouldn't change a thing! God in His Sovereign goodness has given me the most amazing son. I was eighteen years old when I got pregnant with Caleb, I was unmarried, scared to death, and completely sure that this was not "the plan". What I am most thankful for is God's redeeming love, His forgiveness and the fact that He got me through the fear and shame. I am not proud of every decision I made concerning my conduct but I am proud that God gave me Caleb. That God was good enough to show me His plan and His plan was so much better than mine!
Nothing we do is ever without God knowing, every plan we make is of great concern and interest to our Heavenly Father. Isn't it awesome to know that wether we are placing a coffee date on the calendar or wedding date, God cares!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Feeling Inspired!!!!!
Inspiration- (according to Dictionary.com)
–noun
1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3.
a result of inspired activity.
4. a thing or person that inspires.
5.
Theology .
a. divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.
b. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.
6. the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation.
7. the act of inspiring; quality or state of being inspired.
I am acutely aware of most of these definitions of inspiration; I however, was unaware of how much I needed to feel inspired.
This weekend was filled with food and fellowship with two teammates, Meghan and Josh; who made us feel encouraged and equipped for the road ahead in getting ready for our mission to Italy. What I was not expecting was the feeling of inspiration that came with them. They gave us a glimpse once more of the passion and mindset of our mission field! I feel more excited, more energized, and more in awe of what God is doing in this process!
My favorite definition is under Theology that says, the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation. That's exactly how this weekend made me feel, like I was breathing deep the sense of community and dedication of what Team Italy is all about. I can't wait to be together with the entire team once again. I have a greater sense of the effect this team has had on me.
God is Able, as our Pastor said in his sermon today, He is able to do beyond our wildest expectations or imagination! I feel this growing anticipation for what God is doing and I feel inspired to keep running, pushing on to the goal! God is Good! God is Able! He has yet again breathed into me His inspiration, by giving us teammates who are willing to share theirs!
–noun
1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.
2. something inspired, as an idea.
3.
a result of inspired activity.
4. a thing or person that inspires.
5.
Theology .
a. divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.
b. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.
6. the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation.
7. the act of inspiring; quality or state of being inspired.
I am acutely aware of most of these definitions of inspiration; I however, was unaware of how much I needed to feel inspired.
This weekend was filled with food and fellowship with two teammates, Meghan and Josh; who made us feel encouraged and equipped for the road ahead in getting ready for our mission to Italy. What I was not expecting was the feeling of inspiration that came with them. They gave us a glimpse once more of the passion and mindset of our mission field! I feel more excited, more energized, and more in awe of what God is doing in this process!
My favorite definition is under Theology that says, the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation. That's exactly how this weekend made me feel, like I was breathing deep the sense of community and dedication of what Team Italy is all about. I can't wait to be together with the entire team once again. I have a greater sense of the effect this team has had on me.
God is Able, as our Pastor said in his sermon today, He is able to do beyond our wildest expectations or imagination! I feel this growing anticipation for what God is doing and I feel inspired to keep running, pushing on to the goal! God is Good! God is Able! He has yet again breathed into me His inspiration, by giving us teammates who are willing to share theirs!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Talking the Truth on Mute
Have you ever had the best conversation ever with yourself? That's kind of how my day felt! I am the kind of person who generally speaks my mind, about mostly everything... but why is it becoming hard to talk about the one thing that matters most to me. I have said to God, here I am send me... but the goer needs senders. Asking for support is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. No joke, HARDEST! Yet, it's so vital to the ministry of being a missionary. So, I am on this journey of not only discovering who I am as a woman chasing God's call on her life, but also discovering that in order to this I have to humble myself and ask others to come alongside me. In writing it doesn't sound so bad, but the nerves in my gut after setting up each meeting have me thinking otherwise.....
God grace has covered me and will continue to cover me as I make more calls and appointments, probably with some of you who are reading this blog right now! :) I just want you to know that I love you for hearing me out, for praying for me (because I need lots of it), and most importantly for listening to me as I talk about God's heart for Italy.
Why Italy? Why now? Why me? These are the questions that so many people have asked, maybe not the why me... but I have asked God that one. :) Here's a little more information on these important questions...
Why Italy? Italy is less than 2% Christian. They are considered a post Christian society, they have three times as many Pagan (occult) priest to only one Catholic priest, many cities and towns have no evangelical witness at all, there are 1,600,00 students in 48 universities and this is considered the largest unreached mission field in Italy. There is an estimated 400,000 heroin addicts, with a high incidence of HIV... the Muslims have grown to over one million, the Muslim Mosque in Rome is Europe's largest. Africans from all over Africa are seeking work or fleeing war and famine. Italy's coastline has become a funnel for millions of illegal immigrants.They are all in need of the saving gospel of Jesus Christ. And who will reach them? That's the question plaguing my heart... that is why we are going. The generation of youth and young adults in this culture is considered agnostic at best, they are catholic only by name sake not by practice, cathedrals set empty and are pretty buildings to look at, not places of worship anymore... this is not a Catholic vs. Christian debate, it's about reaching the unreached with the love of Christ, the truth of scripture and saving the lost.
Why now? "The need for expatriate missionaries is great but the casualty rate has been unacceptably high in the past, with only 10% on average returning for a second term. Pressures from spiritual forces and entrenched opposition to the gospel expose any personal inadequacies in a missionary." (Operation World, Johnstone & Mandryk) It's been called a missionary graveyard. But our God is greater than he that is in the world! The harvest is ready and it's Christ's doing, but it requires us to go! I know that God has called us "for such a time as this"! That is the one scripture that has been on my heart since the beginning of our journey towards missions, Esther 4:14. God has prepared me through life experiences for this time, for this moment to minister to the people of Italy. I am willing to follow Him! Which goes into my doubting question of why me and answers it for me, because God has called me! Enough said, I just need my head to listen to what God has placed on my heart and trust that where He leads, I will follow!
The road to Italy has already been traveled, God knows where I am to be, He knows what it takes to get there, and after writing it all out, I know that without a doubt, His grace is enough for me!
God grace has covered me and will continue to cover me as I make more calls and appointments, probably with some of you who are reading this blog right now! :) I just want you to know that I love you for hearing me out, for praying for me (because I need lots of it), and most importantly for listening to me as I talk about God's heart for Italy.
Why Italy? Why now? Why me? These are the questions that so many people have asked, maybe not the why me... but I have asked God that one. :) Here's a little more information on these important questions...
Why Italy? Italy is less than 2% Christian. They are considered a post Christian society, they have three times as many Pagan (occult) priest to only one Catholic priest, many cities and towns have no evangelical witness at all, there are 1,600,00 students in 48 universities and this is considered the largest unreached mission field in Italy. There is an estimated 400,000 heroin addicts, with a high incidence of HIV... the Muslims have grown to over one million, the Muslim Mosque in Rome is Europe's largest. Africans from all over Africa are seeking work or fleeing war and famine. Italy's coastline has become a funnel for millions of illegal immigrants.They are all in need of the saving gospel of Jesus Christ. And who will reach them? That's the question plaguing my heart... that is why we are going. The generation of youth and young adults in this culture is considered agnostic at best, they are catholic only by name sake not by practice, cathedrals set empty and are pretty buildings to look at, not places of worship anymore... this is not a Catholic vs. Christian debate, it's about reaching the unreached with the love of Christ, the truth of scripture and saving the lost.
Why now? "The need for expatriate missionaries is great but the casualty rate has been unacceptably high in the past, with only 10% on average returning for a second term. Pressures from spiritual forces and entrenched opposition to the gospel expose any personal inadequacies in a missionary." (Operation World, Johnstone & Mandryk) It's been called a missionary graveyard. But our God is greater than he that is in the world! The harvest is ready and it's Christ's doing, but it requires us to go! I know that God has called us "for such a time as this"! That is the one scripture that has been on my heart since the beginning of our journey towards missions, Esther 4:14. God has prepared me through life experiences for this time, for this moment to minister to the people of Italy. I am willing to follow Him! Which goes into my doubting question of why me and answers it for me, because God has called me! Enough said, I just need my head to listen to what God has placed on my heart and trust that where He leads, I will follow!
The road to Italy has already been traveled, God knows where I am to be, He knows what it takes to get there, and after writing it all out, I know that without a doubt, His grace is enough for me!
Monday, August 2, 2010
12:50
It's late and I should be in bed, but wow, it's been an amazing day! I had the joy of getting up on Sunday morning and getting into my car and driving to my church, I got to sit in a service, that blessed my heart, went upstairs after service to teach a class of three year olds with my niece Natasha.... It hasn't really dawned on me til now that this routine will look so different when we reach the field. I will not have the opportunity to sit in a church building where I understand the language, where I can gather with lots of other fellow Christians and worship God together. Our church abroad will look more like small group here in the states, there won't be a children's worship service that looks that what we are used to and it won't feel like the corporate setting that I have grown so accustomed to.
Yet, how I long for "church" in Italy, how I long to gather with other's who don't speak my native language, others who will show me what it means to worship God... how I long for the harvest... my heart is aching for the lost, I want to reach those who are seeking false gods and without hope.... I desire to let God use me in a way that glorifies His majesty and brings others to the knowledge of His saving grace....
Somewhere right now in Italy, a person who I will meet in some eighteen months is eating breakfast and waiting for an answer to their question of what's this life for.... I can't wait to meet them and tell them that this life is all for Jesus....
Yet, how I long for "church" in Italy, how I long to gather with other's who don't speak my native language, others who will show me what it means to worship God... how I long for the harvest... my heart is aching for the lost, I want to reach those who are seeking false gods and without hope.... I desire to let God use me in a way that glorifies His majesty and brings others to the knowledge of His saving grace....
Somewhere right now in Italy, a person who I will meet in some eighteen months is eating breakfast and waiting for an answer to their question of what's this life for.... I can't wait to meet them and tell them that this life is all for Jesus....
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